It’s easy in life to get wrapped up in what you have going on and forget to be grateful for the things you have and the things that others provide for you. We have all done it.
But… the real test comes when things are busiest. How you treat other people matters. How you treat people when you are busy or angry matters. It’s right then that kindness is the most important.
It is my hope girls that you will treat everyone with kindness and love – especially your Parents, your family, and each other – no matter what.
Your Mom has bent over backwards to care for you guys every day of your incredible lives. She never sleeps in, she never has a day off, and frankly, you guys don’t say thank you enough. You should be kind to her, kind to each other, and grateful that you have the Mom you do.
I have worked almost every day to ensure that you are provided for. That there is money in the bank so that you can do the things that you want to do. You’ve never wanted for anything really… not really.
So… never forget this and be kind to your parents, your family, and each other.
I read with great sadness this morning of the passing of Professor Stephen Hawking.
I have had the incredible honor of meeting some very tough people in my life – none tougher than Squadron Leader (Ret) Ned Cullen, MBE, and his Family.
Mr. Ned is his RAF GR-7 Harrier in 2003.
Ned as I think you both know a Royal Air Force Fighter Pilot and “TopGun” graduate – and one of my best friends in the world. Mr. Ned looks exactly what you would think a dashing, brave, smart talented RAF Fighter Pilot would look like – reddish blond hair and all.
We met in 2002 as our nations trained together for a very sensitive, very special mission which ultimately went down in the western deserts of Iraq in March of 2003.
On the first night of the war in Iraq, Ned was there, overhead protecting the UK Special Air Service (SAS) and our special forces while flying in his RAF Harrier jump jet – taking the fight to the enemy night after night. He is a very brave man.
One evening in April of 2003 Ned came up to me and told me he was not feeling 100% – that his fingers were tingling a bit. That did not stop him from flying combat missions night after night.
Upon returning to the UK in the Spring of 2003 Ned was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease or Lou Gerhigs Disease as it’s known here in the US.
What would stop most people in their tracks… has never… not once… not for one second stopped Ned or his incredible wife Heather, or their Son Rory from attacking life.
There are hard as nails people you meet in your life… and then there is the Clan Cullen.. every single one of them.
When I think of bravery – I think of Ned.
When I think of courage – I think of Ned.
When I think of tenacity with a huge side of humor – I think of Ned.
When I think of unconditional, never-ending, pure to the core love – I think of Heather and Rory.
Every single day the Cullens attack life no matter what gets sent their way, and every person who is blessed to know them and love them is grateful every day for the chance to be in their lives.
Today is a tough day for the world with the loss of Professor Hawking. He was a giant of a man.
Ned, Heather, and Rory
It is also a day to rejoice at the incredible honor of knowing and loving other giants who even now continue to walk this earth.
In your lives girls you will come across incredible people. Get to know them and learn from them.
Life in today’s world can be scary for sure. Sometimes the news is downright confusing and it’s easy to wonder what is going on in the world.
Strong words by a President or other elected official can seem overwhelming. It can seem like our country is out of control, and maybe it is, but more than likely things are moving the way they are supposed to.
Government is about politics and politics is sometimes about arguing your point between two opposing parties. You hope that the two parties on opposite side of an issue will respect each other, but sometimes that is not the case.
What I hope you can take away from all of this turbulence in the news is that the system is actually working the way it is supposed to – maybe just a little louder than we care to have it.
As you guys know, our government is made up of three co-equal branches of government. Each branch has a system of checks and balances over the others to make it all work – which is exactly the way our brilliant founding fathers wanted it to. We would all just hope that there is some civility in the conversations.
Governance in the US is supposed to be noisy and turbulent. Even with all the yelling, screaming, noise, and bumpiness… In the end, our system is the best in the world. I mean nowhere else in the world is there a peaceful change of power every four years. In other parts of the world, this leads to war.
So, unless it gets really weird, this is the way that government works. We just need to keep it all in perspective.
I thought it might be helpful to explain “how” I pray.
First, there is no format to how to pray. You just close your eyes, find a moment of peace, and start to mentally verbalize what it is you are asking God to help you with.
My prayers are now pretty similar.
I start with “Dear God” or “Dear Father”, then I thank him for the many gifts that he has given me. This really helps me to be grateful for the gifts of life. Being gracious and grateful is an important part of being a good person in life.
I then move to what it is that I am asking God to help me with.
I always pray for you guys, for your Mom, for other loved ones, friends, and for the other members of our Family that I want God to protect and keep safe.
Next, is the heart of the prayer.
I often ask God for guidance on something or for him to show me what it is I am supposed to do. A lot of times I don’t know what to do, there are a lot of options, and praying and seeking God’s guidance sometimes helps me to figure out what it is that I am supposed to do.
Then I close by saying “thank you” to God for the many gifts again and finish with an “Amen”.
I know that you don’t believe in God right now. It is my hope that someday you will or at least give it a shot.
It’s totally your choice in life. I feel bad that we have never given you the chance to see balanced options. Over time I think that having a faith in God will bring you peace and solace in life and help you navigate some of the challenges in life. You certainly don’t have too but for me it’s helpful.
Life is a crazy, nutty, sometimes maddening and confusing mix of twists and turns. You never really know what the next day holds and life can be incredibly short – oftentimes unexpectedly.
There have been a lot of times in my life where I was confused, lost, and searching for something. I could not sleep at night, I was not eating well, and was not sure what the future held for me – and for us.
I was hurting, aching, sad, and confused. It was at that moment that I started to pray.
It brought me peace, it settled my mind and made me feel better.
It helped me gain perspective on life and find some peace and solace.
I realized that despite all the mistakes I have made in life, God still loves me and will be there for me.
I know that you don’t believe in God at this point. At one point in my life I don’t think I did either, but then I found God and it’s been an incredibly important part of my life.
Ultimately it’s up to you to decide what you believe. My only point in today’s letter is to not disqualify faith in God without thinking about it.
For me, God’s greatest gift is the honor of being your Dad.
It is often said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. What that really means is that beauty is defined by the person seeing it.
Beauty comes in so many forms. It can be a sunrise, clouds in the sky, the mountains, the Tucson desert after a monsoon, contrails in the sky, an amazing singer or musician, or a sunset.
But when I think of pure, perfect beauty I think of each of you. Your smile, your eyes glowing when you laugh, the look on your faces when you see a puppy, hold Lamby or Newman or ride a horse for the very first time.
You are both strikingly beautiful inside and out. You are both caring, smart, amazingly intelligent, hard-working, talented, funny, a little sassy, and my absolute favorite people in the whole wide world.
I am so proud to be your Dad and love you beyond words.
I hope that you have many opportunities in life – especially to travel and see the world.
The world is an amazing place. Foreign lands filled with culture, beautiful visions, and sights to see.
Travel is also a wonderful opportunity to learn – about you and about others.
When you visit another place – be bold. For sure see all the “standard” things you should see, but also go see the things that most people cannot go see.
Seek to understand the culture and what drives the culture of these amazing foreign lands. It will help you learn to understand the various cultures you will face in your everyday lives.
One of my favorite shows on CNN is Anthony Bourdain’s show on food and local cultures. He does an amazing job understanding cultures.
Understanding culture will help you understand people.
Understanding people will let you help others when they really need it.
I love you guys more than I will ever be able to tell you in words. There is no love like a Father’s love for a Daughter and there are no words to express how much I love each of you.
I can remember like it was yesterday the first time I held each of you and looking down into your eyes. You each looked into my eyes and as soon as I said “Hi, there… I love you!” you just knew that I was your Daddy.
Life has taken us places that I would have never thought. There is distance now between us and I don’t get to spend the time that I want to spend with each of you doing my part to teach you guys the “ins and outs” of life.
So, while nowhere near as good as being with you both all the time, I’m writing these letters to each of you in hopes that they will close some of the differences between us and they will help give you both some things to think about as you approach your amazing lives.
